Without trying to give you trust issues, a new person might jump on exposed vulnerabilities for their own benefit or tell you what you want to hear, stopping you from doing the work and growing that needs to be done.Īn especially important reason to take time after a relationship is if the relationship has caused you legitimate trauma. And this doesn’t mean the work has to start days after the relationship ends – but better now than in 2, 5 or 10 years time when you’ve bottled everything up so bad that unravelling it all becomes an impossible task.įriends, family and therapists all get the tick from us – be vulnerable with the people around you who already have your back – but a new potential partner probably isn’t the best person to lean on. There’s no better time to deal with a break-up than right after the break-up. When you know who you are, and what you want and need from other people, it's much easier to make healthy decisions about who you invest your time in. It’s a huge help in your younger years to be comfortable with the idea you might not meet the “one”.Īnd if you do meet people you decide you want to be with romantically, the independence you gain from spending time being single also helps drive your dating decisions. Figuring out how to be independent in your 60s isn’t going to be that fun – ask anyone who’s had a divorce. The reality is that relationships aren’t for everyone and there’s no guarantee we’ll all end up in them. Lots of people rush straight into the next thing to avoid loneliness, or because they feel they need support, but taking the time to adjust to being single again is so valuable. All Rights Reserved.This one is especially applicable to longer-term relationships, because if you’ve been in a partnership with someone for a while it can be really hard to adapt to being on your own again.
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